Liam and Gibson: November 2013

It's been 6 weeks since the last baby update, so I figured it was time for a new one.

October 22, I had another ultrasound done with the high risk doctor at the Fetal Care Center. Gibson was 23 weeks at that point. It was the first time we took Liam with us to that doctor's office. The first thing he said when we entered the waiting room was, "Where da fish?" since my regular doc's waiting room has a fish tank. He's been there several times and always enjoys the fish. Since there were no fish, Liam decided he did not want to be there and tried to hulk out of his stroller while loudly complaining. Will had to take him out into the hallway. Liam was still complaining while we were in the ultrasound room waiting for the doctor to come in, but we were able to distract him with watching Thomas videos on the cell phone. The doctor came in and did a thorough ultrasound of Gibson. He looked great, and she told us everything was fine. However, she also told us she wanted me to have an ultrasound done every single week until he was born. I thought it seemed excessive, but this is my first high risk pregnancy and I figured it may just be protocol for people in my unique situation.

It was decided later on that day that the weekly ultrasounds would be done at my regular doctor's office and that I most likely wouldn't have to see the high risk doctor again, assuming everything continued to go well. At an appointment with my doctor a week later, she mentioned that I might have one more ultrasound over there during the pregnancy even if everything is still fine. So we'll see what happens.

The only concern my doctor has had so far concerning my health has been the fact that I've gained a lot of weight during this pregnancy. I honestly don't know how much, but I think it's between 25-30 pounds. Since I started out overweight, I have now already reached the limit of what my doctor's weight chart says a woman my size should gain during pregnancy. Oops. However, I haven't eaten poorly or eaten too much (in my opinion, at least). Have there been a few occasions when I ate more than I should have? Yes, but that's only been a few times. In October, my doctor told me she thought I had gestational diabetes because of all the weight gain. I ended up taking the GD test at the end of October. After four days, I still hadn't heard the results, so I called to find out. Thankfully, I had passed it. But at my appointment this week, I had gained almost 5 pounds in a little over two weeks. I really have no idea why! I did partake in more carbs than in previous weeks when I had the gestational diabetes thing hanging over my head. So now I have to seriously watch my carb intake for the rest of the pregnancy and keep a food journal. I pretty much have to pretend I have gestational diabetes without actually having it. I've already been walking regularly, but now I will start doing more. She doesn't want me to gain any weight at all by my next appointment (which is the day before Thanksgiving). I really don't want her to make me freak out about my weight the next three months. I seriously doubt I can go the rest of the pregnancy without gaining any weight. The doctor told me I was on track to have a much bigger baby than Liam (he was 7 pounds, 2 ounces). I certainly hope she's not going to try to use the big baby excuse to pressure me into a C-section. I know my hips can birth a 10 pound baby if it comes to that (and I really don't think it will).

Anyway, back to Gibson. I've now had an ultrasound done every week for the last four weeks. I'm starting to get used to having to go all the way to Baylor Dallas every week. The worst part is Haskell Ave, which is pretty much the last stretch before the hospital. I swear it's the bumpiest road in Dallas, and as a pregnant gal, I ALWAYS have to go to the bathroom badly by the time I get to that road. Not cool, Dallas. The ultrasounds have been really quick, as in it's taken me three times as long to drive there as it has to do the actual ultrasound. However, I'm not complaining because every week so far, I've gotten visual confirmation that Gibson is healthy and growing well. We've seen him open and close his mouth, stick out his tongue, kick, punch, and put his hands over his face. My mom got to go to an ultrasound while she was in town. At the ultrasound yesterday, I got to see Gibson in 3D/4D for a few moments. He looks like a normal baby! I think he looks a little like Liam. We'll see if that's really true, though. When Liam was born, I thought he looked like a pretty generic baby. Then after a week or so he started having his own look. It has been very reassuring to see Gibson every week and to know that he's fine. He's typically been head down during these ultrasounds, but a week ago he had flipped head up, and yesterday he was back head down. I hope head down is his favorite position. As of yesterday, Gibson weighed approximately 2 pounds, 3 ounces and is measuring a few days ahead of schedule.

These days, Gibson is kicking me hard. There's no such thing as "light movement" anymore with him. If I'm looking at my stomach, I can see all his moving around from the outside. Will gets to feel him regularly. Liam can't keep his hand still on my belly long enough to feel him. The other night Liam was sitting in my lap and laying on me (and Gibson). He was falling asleep so he was very still. Gibson was just pummeling him, but Liam was too drowsy to notice. It was like Gibson was telling him to get off of him. He even poked out a foot and left it there for several moments trying to move him. It didn't work. I still really don't know how much Liam understands about Gibson being inside me, but he laid his head on my belly recently and said, "Hey Gibson. You in there?!" He will also put toys on my belly to share with his brother, so I guess maybe he does understand a little. Either way, it's cute and sweet. I still think Liam will be a great big brother. It's hard to imagine that he'll get to be a big brother in less than 3 months.

I definitely don't want to leave out Collin. I've also had the chance to see him on ultrasound every week as well. He is still there, but he is so small now. It's not hard for me to see him on there, and I actually ask to see him. I don't know exactly what his size is, but Gibson seems like a giant compared to him. You can still see that Collin has a head and a body. He doesn't have much in the way of facial features anymore as far as I can tell, though. Earlier this week, I called and talk to a chaplain at the hospital to find out what our choices would be as far as what to do with Collin after both boys are born. I can't handle the thought of him just being thrown out as medical waste. There's no way I could let that happen, even if all that's left of him by then no longer resembles a baby. I talked to my doctor about it a couple weeks ago, and she suggested talking to a chaplain since they are the ones that deal with deaths at the hospital usually. I spoke to a woman who helps families with babies. It has to be a tough job to deal with the deaths of the youngest on a daily or weekly basis. She was very nice, and told me what my options were. Will and I have talked about this a lot, and had decided we wanted to have Collin cremated (if it's possible). There's a chance there won't be enough mass left to cremate, but we won't know that until it happens. Thankfully, planning for cremation is an option, and she said that when the babies are born, we'd get a visit from her or another chaplain and sign a paper saying they could contact the crematory (that we will choose beforehand) to come and get Collin and take him to be cremated. We would just have to pay the cremation fee. The other option was to release him to the hospital, they would have him cremated, and his ashes would be scattered in the Memorial Garden on the hospital property. Baylor has this garden just for the ashes of babies who are miscarried before 20 weeks there at the hospital. They do this with the parent's permission, but it sounds like they also do it if the parents don't want to do anything with the remains after a miscarriage. She said there are babies there who were miscarried at even just 6 weeks of age, which I think is amazing because some women miscarry that early without ever knowing they were pregnant. I think it shows a great reverence for life that they do this. It means Collin would not have been thrown out as medical waste anyway. The good thing about this option is that we'd have a place we could periodically visit. The bad thing is that we wouldn't be allowed to be there when his ashes were scattered. We want to have his ashes with us. We don't know what we will do with them yet, but we'd like to have him with us for at least a little while. It'll probably only be a tablespoon or less of ashes. It was a difficult conversation to have, and I was definitely pinching myself so I didn't bust out crying on the phone, but I'm glad it sounds like Collin will be treated like the human baby that he is, and that he'll be treated with dignity. I'm glad I don't have to fight and prove that he was and is a real baby. He is loved and already missed.