In the last post I wrote (before Will's), I mentioned planning to take a bag of clothes with me to my doctor's appointment in case I had to stay at the hospital. Unfortunately, it ended up being a wise decision.
The appointment was late afternoon on Thursday, December 19th. The cervix check revealed that it was now 1.3 cm and down to 9 mm with pressure. At only 31.3 weeks pregnant, that was not a good thing. My doctor said I would not be going home until I was 34 weeks pregnant, and that I needed to go straight to labor and delivery to get a 24-hour dose of magnesium to ward off labor. I wasn't actually in labor at all, had never felt a contraction, but I was going to be put on it just in case.
When the three of us walked into L&D, the nurse gave Liam a big brother sticker. I know she was just being nice, but it kind of freaked me out a little. In my room, I prepared for a full day of laying in bed with an IV drip. It was after 5 pm by then, and Liam was fussy, so I had no choice but to face it alone. The nurse told me all about how horrible magnesium is for some people...how it can make you feel like you're burning, how you can't focus your eyes, or lift your arms. Lovely. I was hooked up to the monitor because Gibson's heart rate needed to be monitored the entire time I was on the mag. Of course, they also monitored me for contractions. I was set up with an IV, only the second one I've ever had. Then I experienced several things for the first time. The absolute worse thing was the catheter. It was necessary for two reasons: since mag is a muscle relaxer, after awhile I would not have been able to walk to the bathroom, and since the mag leaves your body through urine, the nurses had to keep track of my output and make sure my kidneys were functioning properly. I worried about that catheter for at least the first six hours. I could feel it, and the fact that I was trapped in the bed really freaked me out. The ONLY thing I wanted to do was get up and go to the bathroom.
Once I was prepped and hooked up with too many monitors and tubes, they finally started the mag drip. For the first 20 minutes, you get a big dose, and then it is tapered back to the steady dose you receive the rest of the time. During that 20 minutes, I did feel really hot and I could feel the mag going through my body. Thankfully, after that 20 minutes was over, the hot flash went away and I settled in to face the next 23 hours and 40 minutes ahead of me. I was hungry, but you can't eat on mag because it slows down digestion too much. I ended up going about 30 hours with only one bite of food. I was allowed to drink water the entire time, though. Liquids were encouraged.
On mag, the nurse comes in every hour to check on you, and it's not just asking if you're ok. I was asked the same four questions about contractions and any other out of the ordinary pains. My reflexes were checked, my lungs were listened to, and my urine output was measured. My blood pressure was taken every 15 minutes automatically, so the cuff stayed on. Sleeping wasn't an option. I was uncomfortable in the bed, but moving was hard. I still made the nurse move me every hour, though. For the first 8 or so hours, I was doing ok and could still read and watch TV. I was extremely tired, but couldn't sleep. The nurse coming in meant another hour had passed. When the sun came up, I was about halfway through the treatment. I told the nurse I really wanted some food, so she actually brought a breakfast tray to me. I took one small bite of egg, and my mouth felt dry and so heavy chewing, that I was scared I would choke. So I didn't try to eat any more food.
At some point in the morning, my whole body started feeling heavy and I couldn't really keep my eyes open. When they were open, I couldn't focus them. So I just laid there in the dark, not asleep but not awake for the next 8 or so hours. Around 5 pm, the nurse came in and told me my doctor had given orders to take me off the mag two hours early! I couldn't really move, but I was so happy. I had survived. I was told monitoring picked up a few contractions, but nothing steady or painful. I definitely didn't feel them.
I had to stay in the bed for another couple of hours after coming off the mag to make sure I was recovering properly. They finally unhooked all the cords and tubes from me and called for transport to take me up to my room in the antepartum wing of the hospital. I wasn't allowed to stand up by myself at that point, and I realized why when I had to move from the bed to the wheelchair. My legs worked, but they were weak and tingly once I put pressure on them. I would've fallen down for sure without help. It was now Friday night, Liam was at Parent's Night Out at church, and Will came to visit me just as I was arriving at my new temporary home. That night, I was just so happy to not be on mag anymore, and I was ecstatic that I could walk to the bathroom on my own. I wasn't really thinking about the fact that I wouldn't be going home anytime soon.
It became more real when Will left for the night. I slept pretty well that night since it had been awhile. The buttons on my bed didn't work, and I discovered bright flashing lights on it when I finally turned the lights off. That resulted in three different nurses coming in to fix it, all of them unable to do so. I switched rooms the next day (Saturday), also to a bed that didn't work properly. So then on Monday, I was switched to yet another room, this one with a view of South Dallas, and that was where I lived for the next 15 days.
Unless I was up to go to the bathroom, shower, or down the hall getting an ultrasound, I was laying in the bed at all times. I left the room just three times while I was there, only to get weekly ultrasounds. I loved ultrasound day because it meant I got to leave the room and that I wouldn't have to be monitored that day. Every other day consisted of two NST monitoring sessions to check on Gibson's heart rate and to see if I was having contractions. I learned very quickly how to read the monitors. Gibson had to have two heart accelerations while on the monitor. If he accomplished that in 20 minutes, then we got to get off the monitor. Sometimes he would be asleep and it would take longer to have the accelerations. Several times I had to wake him up by drinking juice, shaking him a little, or playing some Beatles music for him. Thankfully, though, most of the time he cooperated and had great accelerations. After a few days of being there, a monitoring session picked up a contraction. I didn't feel it, but I saw the line go up on the graph, so I tensed up even more. I only had one, which the nurse said was fine and no big deal. Then the next monitoring session picked up one (just one) as well. After that, I developed a small fear of the monitoring sessions. It was silly, but I was so scared it would tell me I was in labor (without feeling it, ha!) and that I would have to get on magnesium again, which I really, really wanted to avoid.
For the rest of my time there, the monitoring sessions would occasionally pick up a contraction. It was always just one and never one I could feel. I still felt anxiety each time the pink and blue belts were wrapped around me. But I was able to pass every session without going back downstairs for more mag. Whew! I looked at my Bible app one day when I was stressing about monitoring, and this was the verse of the day: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10. How perfect! After that, I started reciting that verse in my head when I started feeling anxious. It helped so much. Then I got a card from the prayer ministry at church and it had this very same verse in it. I was meant to know that verse while in the hospital.
*This part is new and was written today, 12/19/14.*
Overall, my weeks in the antepartum unit were very uneventful. The days were boring for the most part. Will and Liam came to visit most days, and I had a few visits from friends as well. I spent Christmas and New Years in my hospital bed. I caught glimpses of fireworks in the distance out my window on New Year's Eve. I was awakened every morning around 6:00 a.m. to be given a pill, which would be followed shortly by a resident coming to ask me how I was doing. They never skipped a day. I watched all of Freaks and Geeks. I played too much Candy Crush and watched music videos on the tablet. I read books and ate hospital food for my 3 meals. I got lonely. I cried sometimes. I wish I could have seen and talked to some other women in the antepartum unit, but we were all confined to our beds.
Will would bring a Christmas present for Liam each day when they came to visit around Christmas so I could see him open them. Thankfully, he was too young to realize he wasn't having a proper Christmas. He did start to expect a present every time he came to see me, though. Oops!
The time passed fairly quickly, and at 34 weeks, I had a final ultrasound to check the length of my cervix. The length had stabilized thankfully, and I was allowed to go home on January 4th. I still stayed on strict bed rest at home until Gibson was born on January 26th. Life actually became easier for us after I had him because I could get up and do stuff and didn't have to be taken care of completely by Will. A year later, I can say all the bed rest was completely worth it!
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