So Liam is 8 weeks old now. That means for the past 8 weeks, I've been totally focused on him. I've been his constant caretaker: feeding him, changing him, and soothing every cry (of course, Will has helped with that as well). It's hard to imagine life without him, and I now wonder what I did with all the free time I surely had before he was born. I have free time now as well, but I have not yet figured out how to properly utilize it. I also don't have as much of it, and it could end in an instant when he wakes up. I spend too much of it on the internet for sure. I guess it's just easier and more relaxing to do that than what I really need to be doing, which is cleaning. Liam's bedroom is still not ready for him. It hasn't been much of a priority since he spends zero time in there. He still sleeps in our room. I am thinking about transitioning him to his room in a month or so though, and the first step will be to start putting him down for naps in his crib so he can get used to it. It is my goal every weekend to get it ready, and so far that still hasn't happened.
I definitely feel like since Liam was born, I have the inability to get anything done. It's not his fault, although it would be easy to blame him. He really does take up a lot of time. I think it's just that I don't make the most of the time I have when he's asleep, or by the time I get motivated to get up and do something, I hear him crying and waking up. I need someone to teach me how to get motivated! I would love to always have a clean apartment, but instead I have an apartment that's never totally clean. I would love to always be ready to go somewhere with Liam during the day, but instead I usually feel bound to the apartment because going out is too much of a hassle. Plus, he sleeps a lot (on good days). Do I really need to mess with that unless absolutely necessary? And it's 100 degrees every day!
I have a million excuses. What I need is confidence.
When Liam was first born, I did not have confidence in myself. I didn't really know what I was doing. I had never been a mommy before. I was nervous and emotional for about the first two weeks of his life. Of course, I took care of him. I loved him so much from minute one, but it was all very overwhelming to me. I lost more confidence when breastfeeding didn't work out as planned. However, those nervous feelings went away and have stayed away for a long time now. I know that I do a good job as his mama, and I do have way more confidence in that now. I love being Liam's mama! There's nothing better now, but the first 2 weeks were tough. I think now what I lack confidence in is getting back into the outside world. We have ventured out together on several occasions, usually to Target or Whole Foods. He typically does ok for most of the outing, but will have a meltdown at some point. Thankfully (I guess), it's usually in the car where I'm the only one who can hear his wailing. Unfortunately, there's not much I can do about it if I'm driving though, and words alone don't soothe him, so he usually spirals into screams like the ones he did those first two nights at home when he was starving. I never wanted to hear those again, but the past two times I've taken him somewhere, he ends up crying like that in the car. It breaks my heart. After 5-10 minutes, he typically wears himself out and falls asleep.
We haven't been back to church since he was born. I'm scared that he will be the screaming kid in the nursery. I'm not sure why I think that, though. He usually behaves himself around other people. We probably won't attempt it this Sunday, but I'm hoping to go the next Sunday.
I guess I know that he will never get used to all these things if I don't take him out places. I totally know that. So I"m going to make an effort to get out more with him. I need to find more places to go that aren't stores, because I don't need to spend money. I would also like to be around adults, other parents. That's something else I haven't done yet, but I don't really know how. I'm planning on joining a mom's group in the fall, but that's a couple months away. Life is just so different now (but in a good way), and I haven't gotten used to it yet. I think new parents usually assimilate quicker than I have, though. Any suggestions on what I can do to help this situation would be greatly appreciated.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
The Zonks...Plus Probiotics
I know this will probably jinx it and ruin it all, but Liam slept for five and half hours straight last night! That's his longest stretch to date. There has been maybe one time when he slept for five hours, but he usually only lasts 3.5-4. Of course, after about 4 hours, I woke up frequently to make sure he really was still asleep, so I didn't reap the benefit. Oh well, I'm hoping for a repeat.
Also, yesterday I started putting him down for naps in his bed when he was drowsy, but not asleep. I normally have to wait for him to be fully asleep to lay him down. I decided to try this and see if it worked, and so far it has! I keep the door cracked so I can peek in on him, and the apartment is so small I have no trouble hearing him if he complains. He only fussed once yesterday evening (turns out he was still hungry), but every other time he has fallen asleep on his on with no fussing and definitely no crying. It's worked so far today as well.
This is all great, even if it only lasts just these couple of days. I feel like Liam hasn't slept well the past couple of weeks, at least during the day. I mean, there would be hours-long stretches when he'd be awake. During that time he would get somewhat fussy, but usually not all-out crying. I think stomach pains kept him awake. I could tell he was tired, but he just wouldn't sleep much. Sometimes he'd take little short naps, but nothing significant. Relief would finally come after a couple of days of that pattern. I think he was just so worn out that he'd have a day where he finally slept like a normal baby to make up for all he missed.
As mentioned in a previous post, we are still trying to get rid of thrush. I am taking medication for it because I have some pains normally caused by thrush. Liam is getting purple mouth to try and get rid of it. I even called the pediatrician about it this week to see if there is something else we can do and the nurse told me to just keep doing the messy gentian violet. Thankfully, it is just in his mouth and not in his diaper area as well, which can happen. I did some research online to try to find the causes of thrush. The one that may be the probable cause for our thrush is that I had to get antibiotics during Liam's labor and delivery. Antibiotics just kill bacteria, with no regards to that which is the good kind or that which is the bad kind. They all get zapped. So an imbalance can occur in both the mother and child where there is not enough good bacteria to control the growth of yeast, and thrush is essentially a yeast infection. Will had talked to a coworker whose child had thrush and he mentioned that what finally kicked it for them was giving the baby probiotics: good bacteria. Then it all made sense. Liam most likely doesn't have enough good bacteria in him to fight off the thrush. So I've been giving him some infant probiotic powder in one bottle a day since Wednesday. He's due for another purple mouth tonight, so I'm curious to see if the combination will work. I definitely don't expect it to work immediately, but I'm hoping to see some progress. Probiotics are also helpful with infant stomach issues, and I can definitely tell his tummy hasn't hurt as much the past day or so, hence being able to sleep well. He's also been more amiable when he's awake, so we've been able to play more and he has actually let me read to him for a good amount of time. I've gotten lots more smiles and cute noises too! Maybe we're on to something with these probiotics.
Little man is growing up so fast! He'll be 7 weeks old tomorrow, and then in another week I'll be able to say he's two months old. TWO MONTHS. It's flown right by.
Also, yesterday I started putting him down for naps in his bed when he was drowsy, but not asleep. I normally have to wait for him to be fully asleep to lay him down. I decided to try this and see if it worked, and so far it has! I keep the door cracked so I can peek in on him, and the apartment is so small I have no trouble hearing him if he complains. He only fussed once yesterday evening (turns out he was still hungry), but every other time he has fallen asleep on his on with no fussing and definitely no crying. It's worked so far today as well.
This is all great, even if it only lasts just these couple of days. I feel like Liam hasn't slept well the past couple of weeks, at least during the day. I mean, there would be hours-long stretches when he'd be awake. During that time he would get somewhat fussy, but usually not all-out crying. I think stomach pains kept him awake. I could tell he was tired, but he just wouldn't sleep much. Sometimes he'd take little short naps, but nothing significant. Relief would finally come after a couple of days of that pattern. I think he was just so worn out that he'd have a day where he finally slept like a normal baby to make up for all he missed.
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| Zonked out on daddy. |
As mentioned in a previous post, we are still trying to get rid of thrush. I am taking medication for it because I have some pains normally caused by thrush. Liam is getting purple mouth to try and get rid of it. I even called the pediatrician about it this week to see if there is something else we can do and the nurse told me to just keep doing the messy gentian violet. Thankfully, it is just in his mouth and not in his diaper area as well, which can happen. I did some research online to try to find the causes of thrush. The one that may be the probable cause for our thrush is that I had to get antibiotics during Liam's labor and delivery. Antibiotics just kill bacteria, with no regards to that which is the good kind or that which is the bad kind. They all get zapped. So an imbalance can occur in both the mother and child where there is not enough good bacteria to control the growth of yeast, and thrush is essentially a yeast infection. Will had talked to a coworker whose child had thrush and he mentioned that what finally kicked it for them was giving the baby probiotics: good bacteria. Then it all made sense. Liam most likely doesn't have enough good bacteria in him to fight off the thrush. So I've been giving him some infant probiotic powder in one bottle a day since Wednesday. He's due for another purple mouth tonight, so I'm curious to see if the combination will work. I definitely don't expect it to work immediately, but I'm hoping to see some progress. Probiotics are also helpful with infant stomach issues, and I can definitely tell his tummy hasn't hurt as much the past day or so, hence being able to sleep well. He's also been more amiable when he's awake, so we've been able to play more and he has actually let me read to him for a good amount of time. I've gotten lots more smiles and cute noises too! Maybe we're on to something with these probiotics.
Little man is growing up so fast! He'll be 7 weeks old tomorrow, and then in another week I'll be able to say he's two months old. TWO MONTHS. It's flown right by.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Five Weeks
Sorry for the gap in posts. Life with a newborn is unpredictable at best. I'm sure there have been times in the past couple of weeks when I could've written a post, but I probably chose to sleep or stare blankly at the wall during a moment of peace. Most likely I was washing bottles.
Anyway, little man is now over five weeks old. We just flew right past that one-month mark. I'd like to tell you that he's a perfectly well-behaved child who never complains, but that would be a lie! He has good days and then bad days when he's fussy a lot and doesn't sleep much. Those days wear me out. I know he's got reasons to be fussy, though, so I don't get mad at him. We are still battling the thrush monster, which we've been doing for several weeks now. I know it can't feel good to have that stuff in his mouth. I think it might even make him want to eat more because it might make his mouth feel better. The usual meds for it, Nystatin, didn't work, so we've been trying gentian violet on the recommendation of our pediatrician, which stains his mouth purple for a day. It does knock down the thrush a lot, but then it usually comes back the next day. We gave him purple mouth yesterday, and today I've been swabbing his mouth with grapefruit seed extract in distilled water to keep it away. It seems to be working so far, but if it comes back he may need stronger meds for it.
Liam has also been having some stomach issues lately. It seems he may have a milk sensitivity, so I've stopped eating dairy for the little bit of breastfeeding I can do, and we've switched him to a soy formula (all under the recommendation of his pediatrician). Hopefully this is just temporary and we can switch him back in a few months once his digestive system is more mature. However, the soy formula seems to slow him down if you know what I mean. So going number two is painful for him. He's still very new to the soy, though, and hopefully this is just his body having to adjust to the new formula. He's actually made great progress in that area today. But yeah, this has caused a lot of fussiness lately, and I hate to see him in pain. But enough of our problems, let's talk about the good times...because there are good times as well!
Liam is smiling a lot more now! He's given us little gassy grins since pretty early on, but now I think he's starting to smile on purpose sometimes. This weekend he totally smiled at me three times in a row on purpose. He has a few different smiles, but the most common one is where he smiles with just one side of his mouth. All of his smiles are so cute. They're also fleeting, so I haven't really been successful at capturing one on camera yet. I took some pictures of Liam for a Father's Day present for Will, and these are the two with the best examples of him smiling:
He also is making cute noises sometimes. They're hard to describe, but they're so cute and I think they usually surprise him when they come out of his mouth. He looks at and focuses on us a lot now. He's starting to hold his head up better, but it's still too heavy for him. That's one thing I'm really looking forward to: neck control.
He's a good sleeper at night, even if he's had a really fussy day. He'll sleep a 3-4 hour stretch at night, and goes right back to sleep after I feed him. I'm thankful for that. We try to play during the day, but sometimes he's too fussy and doesn't want to have anything to do with that. I read to him everyday, and I sing to him pretty often. No one else in the world gets to hear me sing but him. I usually sing Beatles songs, most often "I'm Only Sleeping" and I also sing "Jesus Loves Me" to him. He tolerates my singing for a few minutes, but then I think he grows weary of it. He gets the hiccups ALL the time. Sometimes he tolerates them well, other times not so much, but crying or drinking something usually gets rid of them. When he sneezes, he sounds like one of the chipmunks (Alvin, Simon, Theodore) sneezing. It's pretty cute. I love my little man!
Anyway, little man is now over five weeks old. We just flew right past that one-month mark. I'd like to tell you that he's a perfectly well-behaved child who never complains, but that would be a lie! He has good days and then bad days when he's fussy a lot and doesn't sleep much. Those days wear me out. I know he's got reasons to be fussy, though, so I don't get mad at him. We are still battling the thrush monster, which we've been doing for several weeks now. I know it can't feel good to have that stuff in his mouth. I think it might even make him want to eat more because it might make his mouth feel better. The usual meds for it, Nystatin, didn't work, so we've been trying gentian violet on the recommendation of our pediatrician, which stains his mouth purple for a day. It does knock down the thrush a lot, but then it usually comes back the next day. We gave him purple mouth yesterday, and today I've been swabbing his mouth with grapefruit seed extract in distilled water to keep it away. It seems to be working so far, but if it comes back he may need stronger meds for it.
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| Purple lips from the gentian violet |
Liam is smiling a lot more now! He's given us little gassy grins since pretty early on, but now I think he's starting to smile on purpose sometimes. This weekend he totally smiled at me three times in a row on purpose. He has a few different smiles, but the most common one is where he smiles with just one side of his mouth. All of his smiles are so cute. They're also fleeting, so I haven't really been successful at capturing one on camera yet. I took some pictures of Liam for a Father's Day present for Will, and these are the two with the best examples of him smiling:
He also is making cute noises sometimes. They're hard to describe, but they're so cute and I think they usually surprise him when they come out of his mouth. He looks at and focuses on us a lot now. He's starting to hold his head up better, but it's still too heavy for him. That's one thing I'm really looking forward to: neck control.
He's a good sleeper at night, even if he's had a really fussy day. He'll sleep a 3-4 hour stretch at night, and goes right back to sleep after I feed him. I'm thankful for that. We try to play during the day, but sometimes he's too fussy and doesn't want to have anything to do with that. I read to him everyday, and I sing to him pretty often. No one else in the world gets to hear me sing but him. I usually sing Beatles songs, most often "I'm Only Sleeping" and I also sing "Jesus Loves Me" to him. He tolerates my singing for a few minutes, but then I think he grows weary of it. He gets the hiccups ALL the time. Sometimes he tolerates them well, other times not so much, but crying or drinking something usually gets rid of them. When he sneezes, he sounds like one of the chipmunks (Alvin, Simon, Theodore) sneezing. It's pretty cute. I love my little man!
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Three Weeks Down, a Lifetime to Go
It's been three weeks since Liam was born. They have flown right by, but yet even last week seems like forever ago. In just another week, I'll have a one month old son.
Since I last posted, I think a lot has happened. This past week was especially busy. Will is now back at work full-time, so it's just the two of us together all day. Friday, May 27th, Liam had his official two-week check-up. At that appointment, he weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces. He was in the 20th percentile for weight and head size, and the 50th percentile for length. The pediatrician said he was perfect.
This past Wednesday, our good friends Crystal and Brian stopped by on their way from Oregon to Ruston, and Crystal took Liam's newborn pictures. Crystal is an amazing photographer, especially of babies. I love the ones I've seen so far! You can check them out here. I fed Liam right before she got here, and he was a wonderful baby the entire time and slept through his entire photo session. I think he liked being naked and getting to sleep on his stomach.
As the Garcias were leaving, the lactation consultant was arriving. I have been having some breastfeeding issues, and I decided it was time to get to the bottom of them and find out once and for all what the problem was. She weighed Liam before I fed him. He was up to 7 pounds, 14 ounces! Then I nursed him for a little while, until he got frustrated. She weighed him again and determined that he really didn't get anything from me. After asking me a lot of questions too, she determined that the problem is very low milk supply. Of course, it was disheartening to hear that. While she was here, she set us up with a supplemental nursing system. It features a small tube that he sucks on at the same time he nurses, and gets formula. He nursed like a pro using that thing. She said his latch was perfect. She suggested I start taking the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle to increase my supply, and use the sns as much as possible. Of course, after she left, we haven't been able to make the sns work on our own since then. So I've been taking the herbs, pumping more, and trying to get him to nurse as much as he will to try and increase the supply. So far, none of it seems to be working. I haven't noticed any increase. However, I'm still not giving up, as hard as it is. The fenugreek makes me smell like maple syrup. It's tough, though. Before he was born, I just assumed breastfeeding would work so easily. Now I feel foolish for thinking that. My baby is basically a completely formula-fed baby, with a little bit of breastmilk thrown in. The boy does love to eat, though.
Thursday to Saturday, my mom came to visit and spend time with Liam. She even watched him for a couple of hours Friday night while Will and I went out to eat and took our recycling to the recycling center. It had been many weeks since we had taken it. I know it sounds silly, but we do recycle, and the city doesn't pick it up at our apartment complex, so we have to take it ourselves. She loved getting to spend time with him. He did do his first ever projectile vomiting while she was here. Before, he had never done more than spit up a little. I was a little shocked, but I think he just got a little overfed and stimulated too much. While she was here, we also took him to Target for the first time. I'm sure he will be going there a lot in his future.
Friday, I noticed little man was making some noises when he breathed. It hasn't been uncommon for him to do that in certain positions, but he never did it when he was laying on his back. All night Friday, I basically didn't get any sleep because I stayed up listening to him breathe because he was making noise. He didn't seem like he was laboring to breathe at all, just the noise and some panting-like breathing. So being the worrisome mother, we took him to the pediatrician on Saturday morning. We had to see a different doctor than our regular one. She listened to his heart and his lungs and his breathing. She said everything sounded perfect, but that he does have some nasal congestion. I had thought that might be it, but I couldn't see anything in his nose, and using saline drops in his nose hadn't seem to help. She said it was common, and that it would go away, and that occasional panting-like breathing was very normal and common in newborns. She also said he was perfect. I love it when they say that! So he is fine, he just may keep on making noise when he breathes for a little while. I think it's already gotten better when he's lying on his back. He was weighed at the doctor's office, and he was up to 8 pounds, 6 ounces, so he had gained 8 ounces from Wednesday to Saturday. He's becoming such the big boy. His cheeks are filling out.
After three weeks, I think I'm finally used to the idea that I'm a mother now. It really has been a huge adjustment. I feel like I fall in love with Liam more and more everyday. He's starting to focus better and actually look at me now, and that's super sweet. I think I'm also learning more of his personality. I think he's a really good baby, and only cries if he needs something. His favorite things to do are eat, sleep, and stretch. He stretches all the time!
Since I last posted, I think a lot has happened. This past week was especially busy. Will is now back at work full-time, so it's just the two of us together all day. Friday, May 27th, Liam had his official two-week check-up. At that appointment, he weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces. He was in the 20th percentile for weight and head size, and the 50th percentile for length. The pediatrician said he was perfect.
This past Wednesday, our good friends Crystal and Brian stopped by on their way from Oregon to Ruston, and Crystal took Liam's newborn pictures. Crystal is an amazing photographer, especially of babies. I love the ones I've seen so far! You can check them out here. I fed Liam right before she got here, and he was a wonderful baby the entire time and slept through his entire photo session. I think he liked being naked and getting to sleep on his stomach.
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| A behind-the-scenes shot at his photo shoot |
As the Garcias were leaving, the lactation consultant was arriving. I have been having some breastfeeding issues, and I decided it was time to get to the bottom of them and find out once and for all what the problem was. She weighed Liam before I fed him. He was up to 7 pounds, 14 ounces! Then I nursed him for a little while, until he got frustrated. She weighed him again and determined that he really didn't get anything from me. After asking me a lot of questions too, she determined that the problem is very low milk supply. Of course, it was disheartening to hear that. While she was here, she set us up with a supplemental nursing system. It features a small tube that he sucks on at the same time he nurses, and gets formula. He nursed like a pro using that thing. She said his latch was perfect. She suggested I start taking the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle to increase my supply, and use the sns as much as possible. Of course, after she left, we haven't been able to make the sns work on our own since then. So I've been taking the herbs, pumping more, and trying to get him to nurse as much as he will to try and increase the supply. So far, none of it seems to be working. I haven't noticed any increase. However, I'm still not giving up, as hard as it is. The fenugreek makes me smell like maple syrup. It's tough, though. Before he was born, I just assumed breastfeeding would work so easily. Now I feel foolish for thinking that. My baby is basically a completely formula-fed baby, with a little bit of breastmilk thrown in. The boy does love to eat, though.
Thursday to Saturday, my mom came to visit and spend time with Liam. She even watched him for a couple of hours Friday night while Will and I went out to eat and took our recycling to the recycling center. It had been many weeks since we had taken it. I know it sounds silly, but we do recycle, and the city doesn't pick it up at our apartment complex, so we have to take it ourselves. She loved getting to spend time with him. He did do his first ever projectile vomiting while she was here. Before, he had never done more than spit up a little. I was a little shocked, but I think he just got a little overfed and stimulated too much. While she was here, we also took him to Target for the first time. I'm sure he will be going there a lot in his future.
Friday, I noticed little man was making some noises when he breathed. It hasn't been uncommon for him to do that in certain positions, but he never did it when he was laying on his back. All night Friday, I basically didn't get any sleep because I stayed up listening to him breathe because he was making noise. He didn't seem like he was laboring to breathe at all, just the noise and some panting-like breathing. So being the worrisome mother, we took him to the pediatrician on Saturday morning. We had to see a different doctor than our regular one. She listened to his heart and his lungs and his breathing. She said everything sounded perfect, but that he does have some nasal congestion. I had thought that might be it, but I couldn't see anything in his nose, and using saline drops in his nose hadn't seem to help. She said it was common, and that it would go away, and that occasional panting-like breathing was very normal and common in newborns. She also said he was perfect. I love it when they say that! So he is fine, he just may keep on making noise when he breathes for a little while. I think it's already gotten better when he's lying on his back. He was weighed at the doctor's office, and he was up to 8 pounds, 6 ounces, so he had gained 8 ounces from Wednesday to Saturday. He's becoming such the big boy. His cheeks are filling out.
After three weeks, I think I'm finally used to the idea that I'm a mother now. It really has been a huge adjustment. I feel like I fall in love with Liam more and more everyday. He's starting to focus better and actually look at me now, and that's super sweet. I think I'm also learning more of his personality. I think he's a really good baby, and only cries if he needs something. His favorite things to do are eat, sleep, and stretch. He stretches all the time!
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| Stretching! |
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Liam: Week Two (So Far)
As hard as the first week was, it flew right by. I have to admit, it's kind of hard for me to keep track of the days anymore. Except for pediatrician appointments, days and specific times mean very little.
Saturday night, on his one week birthday, his little cord stump fell off. Now he's got a little outie bell button. Diaper changing is much easier now.
Over the weekend, Liam had to stay on his blue light to knock out the jaundice. Now that he gets enough food, his fave thing to do is sleep, so that helped with him having to stay on the light so much. We also laid him by the window more to get some Vitamin D. Monday morning, we took Liam to his daily pediatrician visit. His weight was up to 7 pounds, 3 ounces. He gained 7 ounces over the weekend, and is officially above his birth weight! We had to get his heel pricked for the fourth time to check his bilirubin level. He's always been asleep when they prick his heel, but of course he wakes up and screams until they are finished. Then he goes right back to sleep. Thankfully, the level had gone down 8 points over the weekend, and we were able to stop the blue light therapy. Now he gets to wear clothes like a normal baby! He shouldn't have to get his heel pricked anymore either. Monday was the first day I drove him around town. Before that, Will had been our chauffeur. Thankfully, Liam seems to really like riding in the car. It puts him to sleep.
Speaking of sleep, he seems to be a heavy sleeper. We don't alter our noise level while he naps, and he doesn't wake up. There was a storm Sunday night, and we had our patio door open to hear the rain. Lightning struck something (hopefully just a tree) and there was a really loud boom noise that scared me to death. It made the cats go run and hide under the couch, and it made the smoke detectors beep briefly. Little man jumped a little, but did not wake up. And yes, at the hospital, they checked his hearing and it was perfect.
Liam still doesn't have a schedule, and wont for a while. We are still in reacting and survival mode. Things are calming down some, though. Some nights, he stays awake for 4 or so hours in the middle of the night. I feed him, change his diaper, rock him to sleep, then he'd get a gassy pain and start crying. So I'd hold him while he works out his toots. Then he'd get the hiccups, which eventually upset him. And then the cycle would be repeated until mama (me) was delirious from lack of sleep. I think he's been going through a bit of a growth spurt lately because he's been eating a little bit more than before. Overnight Sunday, I was up with him for a long time, and he finally fell asleep about 6 in the morning. So we both slept until noon, waking up for another (this time low-key) feeding in the middle.
However, there are some nights when he does really well. Last night, for instance: I fed him a little after 11:00 p.m. and we all went to bed at midnight. He woke up once about 3:30, and I fed him and cuddled and rocked him for about an hour. Then we both went back to sleep until about 7:30 or 8:00. I know it's normally not that easy, but to get a night like that occasionally is nice.
I have not given up on breastfeeding. I was thinking it was a lost cause, but I've kept on trying. There actually has been improvement in the past couple of days. At each feeding, I try breastfeeding first. Before, he just always got frustrated and usually wouldn't even latch on. I feel like my supply is getting better, although it may not be as much as it should. I've found that he will take one side using the football hold and the other using the cradle hold. Now he will sometimes nurse for a good 20-30 minutes. It's not every time, though. And he usually still is hungry afterwards, and I have to give him formula. There was one feeding on Monday where I was able to just breastfeed, and he seemed to get full. However, he was ravenous at the next one, and I had to give him formula. So maybe he just got sleepy that first time. As of right now, I still have to supplement feedings with formula. I haven't completely decided what to do. I really want breastfeeding to work. Even if I end up just pumping and giving it to him in a bottle, I want him to get as much breastmilk as he can. He doesn't seem to like going back and forth from breast to bottle, and bottle wins out most of the time.
Today, I've discovered that Liam now has thrush. So the inside of his mouth looks like it's covered in milk, which is what I thought it was at first only it didn't go away. It doesn't seem to bother him or affect feeding, though. The pedi called in medicine for it, so I have to start giving that to him today.
Starting yesterday, Will went back to work half days. Yesterday afternoon on our own went well, mostly because he slept away most of it. We've been by ourselves this morning, and it's gone fine as well. But then again, I haven't had to deal with much more than just a sleeping Liam while Will's been gone. I still haven't been able to accomplish much around the house yet. Hopefully I will start cleaning soon. I need a to do list.
Now that Liam's jaundice is pretty much gone (I still see some of it in his face), we have a more accurate idea of what his skin tone is. The jaundice made him look tan, but he is actually a fair-skinned child. I knew he couldn't escape that with me as his mama.
Saturday night, on his one week birthday, his little cord stump fell off. Now he's got a little outie bell button. Diaper changing is much easier now.
Over the weekend, Liam had to stay on his blue light to knock out the jaundice. Now that he gets enough food, his fave thing to do is sleep, so that helped with him having to stay on the light so much. We also laid him by the window more to get some Vitamin D. Monday morning, we took Liam to his daily pediatrician visit. His weight was up to 7 pounds, 3 ounces. He gained 7 ounces over the weekend, and is officially above his birth weight! We had to get his heel pricked for the fourth time to check his bilirubin level. He's always been asleep when they prick his heel, but of course he wakes up and screams until they are finished. Then he goes right back to sleep. Thankfully, the level had gone down 8 points over the weekend, and we were able to stop the blue light therapy. Now he gets to wear clothes like a normal baby! He shouldn't have to get his heel pricked anymore either. Monday was the first day I drove him around town. Before that, Will had been our chauffeur. Thankfully, Liam seems to really like riding in the car. It puts him to sleep.
Speaking of sleep, he seems to be a heavy sleeper. We don't alter our noise level while he naps, and he doesn't wake up. There was a storm Sunday night, and we had our patio door open to hear the rain. Lightning struck something (hopefully just a tree) and there was a really loud boom noise that scared me to death. It made the cats go run and hide under the couch, and it made the smoke detectors beep briefly. Little man jumped a little, but did not wake up. And yes, at the hospital, they checked his hearing and it was perfect.
Liam still doesn't have a schedule, and wont for a while. We are still in reacting and survival mode. Things are calming down some, though. Some nights, he stays awake for 4 or so hours in the middle of the night. I feed him, change his diaper, rock him to sleep, then he'd get a gassy pain and start crying. So I'd hold him while he works out his toots. Then he'd get the hiccups, which eventually upset him. And then the cycle would be repeated until mama (me) was delirious from lack of sleep. I think he's been going through a bit of a growth spurt lately because he's been eating a little bit more than before. Overnight Sunday, I was up with him for a long time, and he finally fell asleep about 6 in the morning. So we both slept until noon, waking up for another (this time low-key) feeding in the middle.
However, there are some nights when he does really well. Last night, for instance: I fed him a little after 11:00 p.m. and we all went to bed at midnight. He woke up once about 3:30, and I fed him and cuddled and rocked him for about an hour. Then we both went back to sleep until about 7:30 or 8:00. I know it's normally not that easy, but to get a night like that occasionally is nice.
I have not given up on breastfeeding. I was thinking it was a lost cause, but I've kept on trying. There actually has been improvement in the past couple of days. At each feeding, I try breastfeeding first. Before, he just always got frustrated and usually wouldn't even latch on. I feel like my supply is getting better, although it may not be as much as it should. I've found that he will take one side using the football hold and the other using the cradle hold. Now he will sometimes nurse for a good 20-30 minutes. It's not every time, though. And he usually still is hungry afterwards, and I have to give him formula. There was one feeding on Monday where I was able to just breastfeed, and he seemed to get full. However, he was ravenous at the next one, and I had to give him formula. So maybe he just got sleepy that first time. As of right now, I still have to supplement feedings with formula. I haven't completely decided what to do. I really want breastfeeding to work. Even if I end up just pumping and giving it to him in a bottle, I want him to get as much breastmilk as he can. He doesn't seem to like going back and forth from breast to bottle, and bottle wins out most of the time.
Today, I've discovered that Liam now has thrush. So the inside of his mouth looks like it's covered in milk, which is what I thought it was at first only it didn't go away. It doesn't seem to bother him or affect feeding, though. The pedi called in medicine for it, so I have to start giving that to him today.
Starting yesterday, Will went back to work half days. Yesterday afternoon on our own went well, mostly because he slept away most of it. We've been by ourselves this morning, and it's gone fine as well. But then again, I haven't had to deal with much more than just a sleeping Liam while Will's been gone. I still haven't been able to accomplish much around the house yet. Hopefully I will start cleaning soon. I need a to do list.
Now that Liam's jaundice is pretty much gone (I still see some of it in his face), we have a more accurate idea of what his skin tone is. The jaundice made him look tan, but he is actually a fair-skinned child. I knew he couldn't escape that with me as his mama.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Liam's First Week
So his birth is just the beginning of the story. Giving birth is a crazy experience, and while it's happening, you're not thinking about what happens AFTER the birth. You're just anticipating holding your baby and then once he's here, just happy and excited to meet him. Then things calm down in the delivery room and you get moved to your postpartum room. Holding Liam while I got wheeled up the seventh floor was exciting. Once they got us settled in the room, and the nurses all left, reality set in. Oh my gosh, we have a child now...that we have to keep alive. We realized life would never be the same again.
With Liam being born at almost 9:00 p.m., we didn't get to our room until 10:30 or so. (I honestly don't know what time it was. Knowing the time ceased to matter at that point, and one week later I still feel that way.) That night is kind of a blur. I remember our nurse coming in a lot to check me and the baby out and help with breastfeeding. At some point, Will went to the food court and got us some veggie burgers. I remember that I was starving. Liam slept a lot that night, as just-born babies do. He was taken to the nursery at some point for a quick check-up, and I walked down there and watched through the window.We held and cuddled him a lot, and around 5:00 a.m., he got his first bath. He wasn't too crazy about the bath part, but he loved getting his hair washed.
Sunday was our first full day as parents. It was a day of new experiences and learning. With the help of nurses, Liam and I ventured into breastfeeding. He did really well with it at the hospital. More on that later. Sunday afternoon, my parents came to visit and meet their first grandchild. They were Liam's first visitors. Sunday was filled with nurse check-ups and a pediatrician check-up for Liam. She said he was perfect. Sunday was a pretty laid-back day. Once again, lots of cuddles and getting to know each other.
Monday, Liam's grandparents came back to see him. He was also visited by Candy, Elisa, and Tedye from First Baptist. We filled out information for his birth certificate and social security card so he'll be legit. I was Group B Strep positive, which means I supposed to get two doses of antibiotics while in labor. They got one dose in me, but not the second since things went quickly. Therefore, they had to do a blood culture on Liam that had to be checked exactly 48 hours after he was born. Therefore, we had to wait until after 9:00 p.m. Monday night to get discharged. Once he was given the all clear, Will took our stuff down to the car and waited in the discharge pick-up area, and two dudes wheeled me and little man down there to him. It was quite uneventful, yet very significant. They let us take him home!
Liam slept all the way home. That all changed once we actually got home.
Our first night home was extremely tough. Liam was either screaming or nursing, and he wasn't nursing very well. Earlier in the day when the nurse was giving us our new parent instructions, she told us that it may seem like we took home a completely different baby. She was right. Liam was perfect in the hospital, only fussing a couple of times. He nursed well and passed all his jaundice tests. We stayed up all night that night just reacting to Liam and trying to get him to calm down. As soon as he'd get quiet, he'd start back up again. We were scared and frustrated and I think Liam was as well. We had no idea what else to do. I know that I felt helpless. Liam finally fell asleep around six in the morning, but I may have been too paranoid to sleep myself.
I don't really remember Tuesday very well, but I know it was filled with nearly constant nursing and freaking out on the inside (and some on the outside) by me. Liam didn't sleep much at all, therefore we didn't either. I felt a lot of anxiety and nervousness. I didn't know what else I could do to soothe him. He was getting frustrated nursing, and my milk had not yet come in, so he was just getting colostrum. Tuesday night was a repeat of Monday night, with zero sleep all around. It had been the roughest 36 or so hours of my life.
Wednesday morning, we took Liam to the pediatrician for his newborn visit. When we left the hospital, he weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces, just slightly down from his birth weight. At the doctor's office, he was down to 6 pounds, 5 ounces. Not good. He had lost more than 10% from his birth weight. Of course he was fussy, so they gave us a little thing of formula to give to him there. He drank some of it and quieted right down. The doctor said he wasn't getting enough nourishment, and that we needed to supplement the breastfeeding with formula. He also said he was jaundiced, so he had to get his heel pricked. Sure enough, he had it and we were given orders to have him lay on a blue light at home all the time unless he was being fed or changed. He could only wear a diaper and socks so more skin was exposed. The light was delivered later that evening. After having the formula, Liam slept for hours once we got home. It was a massive change from the previous day and a half, and it was much-needed relief. That night, Liam started his light therapy and I started giving him formula after nursing. Liam had already been having some nursing issues, but they really picked up once formula came in the picture. Overnight on Wednesday, my milk finally came in, but I could tell there wasn't much of it. Liam's nursing behavior didn't change. It was becoming a frustrating thing for him. Because of the formula, Liam did sleep more that night. I was also glad he was getting the nourishment he needed. I had been starving him and didn't know it.
Thursday morning, we went back to the pediatrician's office for another check-up. He was up 2 ounces overnight! He got another heel prick to check his jaundice. It had only gone down one point, so we were ordered to keep him on the light. Going number one and number two also helps get out the bilirubins that cause jaundice, so the formula is good for that as well. Thursday evening, Liam's grandparents (Will's parents) came to meet him. He had to stay on his light as much as possible, but they got time in holding him. Overnight Thursday went well. I had to wake Liam up to feed him every 2.5-3 hours. He may have woken up on his own once that night. I would try breastfeeding first and once it got too frustrating for him, I would give him the formula. I think that was the first night I actually slept. Liam actually scared me. I had fed him slightly before 3:00 a.m., and we all went back to sleep after it. I didn't wake up again until a little after 6:00 a.m. Liam was still asleep and that freaked me out some. He was also reluctant to wake up then which further concerned me. But he did wake up and we did our diaper change and feeding routine.
Friday morning, we went back to the pediatrician's office for another check-up. Yes, we had to go three days in a row. Weight check was great. Liam was up to 6 pounds, 12 ounces, so 7 ounces in two days! I gave him a baby high five for that. I expressed my concerns that I was losing him to the bottle and the nurse was very encouraging and gave me some tips. She told me to keep trying every 2 hours or so and pump to get things going. Unfortunately, little man still gets super frustrated and sometimes won't even latch on now. It breaks my heart. I have a hand pump that I've been using some, but I barely get anything out. I am not making nearly enough milk to meet his needs, and he totally knows that. It breaks my heart, though. I had grand visions of a chubby, breastfed baby. I have not given up hope yet, though. I still try it every feeding and pump whatever I can and give it to him in a bottle. I've started drinking some lactation tea in hopes that it will help. I know this whole thing is all about supply and demand, though. At first the supply wasn't there, but the demand was. Then by the time the supply was there, demand had dropped off. Now as demand becomes less and less, supply also becomes less. I don't yet know what the outcome will be. I know I'm not a bad mother if he ends up being formula fed. A friend is letting me borrow an electric pump, so hopefully that will help. Overnight Friday was quite nice actually. I had to wake Liam to feed twice (pedi wants him to eat every 3 hours), but both feedings went smoothly (not counting bf frustration) and he went back to sleep easily. I was able to get good sleep in between feedings.
Today is Liam's one-week birthday. His routine right now is to sleep most of the time, dirty and wet lots of diapers, and eat every three hours. He's pretty good at that right now. He did have a fussy spell this afternoon, but the kid really just wants to be held. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to do much of that because he has to stay on his light. He will be on it until at least Monday when he'll get his level check again.
This has been the most overwhelming, emotional, exhausting, and trying week of my life. It has also been amazing and exciting. I'm getting used to the idea that I'm a mother now, and even though I sometimes doubt myself, I know I am capable of taking care of him. We've been in survival mode, figuring it all out. Crazy hormones don't help the situation. I'm so happy I'm Liam's mom. I love him so much already. We already get some gassy grins and sweet faces. He already acts like Will. They both like to sleep with their arms above their heads. This morning, they were in the same position sleeping. It's so cute! His eyes already have a hint of brown in them, so I think he will be a brown hair, brown eyed boy, just like his daddy. I'm glad we made it through the first week, and I'm ready for the second.
With Liam being born at almost 9:00 p.m., we didn't get to our room until 10:30 or so. (I honestly don't know what time it was. Knowing the time ceased to matter at that point, and one week later I still feel that way.) That night is kind of a blur. I remember our nurse coming in a lot to check me and the baby out and help with breastfeeding. At some point, Will went to the food court and got us some veggie burgers. I remember that I was starving. Liam slept a lot that night, as just-born babies do. He was taken to the nursery at some point for a quick check-up, and I walked down there and watched through the window.We held and cuddled him a lot, and around 5:00 a.m., he got his first bath. He wasn't too crazy about the bath part, but he loved getting his hair washed.
Sunday was our first full day as parents. It was a day of new experiences and learning. With the help of nurses, Liam and I ventured into breastfeeding. He did really well with it at the hospital. More on that later. Sunday afternoon, my parents came to visit and meet their first grandchild. They were Liam's first visitors. Sunday was filled with nurse check-ups and a pediatrician check-up for Liam. She said he was perfect. Sunday was a pretty laid-back day. Once again, lots of cuddles and getting to know each other.
Monday, Liam's grandparents came back to see him. He was also visited by Candy, Elisa, and Tedye from First Baptist. We filled out information for his birth certificate and social security card so he'll be legit. I was Group B Strep positive, which means I supposed to get two doses of antibiotics while in labor. They got one dose in me, but not the second since things went quickly. Therefore, they had to do a blood culture on Liam that had to be checked exactly 48 hours after he was born. Therefore, we had to wait until after 9:00 p.m. Monday night to get discharged. Once he was given the all clear, Will took our stuff down to the car and waited in the discharge pick-up area, and two dudes wheeled me and little man down there to him. It was quite uneventful, yet very significant. They let us take him home!
Liam slept all the way home. That all changed once we actually got home.
Our first night home was extremely tough. Liam was either screaming or nursing, and he wasn't nursing very well. Earlier in the day when the nurse was giving us our new parent instructions, she told us that it may seem like we took home a completely different baby. She was right. Liam was perfect in the hospital, only fussing a couple of times. He nursed well and passed all his jaundice tests. We stayed up all night that night just reacting to Liam and trying to get him to calm down. As soon as he'd get quiet, he'd start back up again. We were scared and frustrated and I think Liam was as well. We had no idea what else to do. I know that I felt helpless. Liam finally fell asleep around six in the morning, but I may have been too paranoid to sleep myself.
I don't really remember Tuesday very well, but I know it was filled with nearly constant nursing and freaking out on the inside (and some on the outside) by me. Liam didn't sleep much at all, therefore we didn't either. I felt a lot of anxiety and nervousness. I didn't know what else I could do to soothe him. He was getting frustrated nursing, and my milk had not yet come in, so he was just getting colostrum. Tuesday night was a repeat of Monday night, with zero sleep all around. It had been the roughest 36 or so hours of my life.
Wednesday morning, we took Liam to the pediatrician for his newborn visit. When we left the hospital, he weighed 6 pounds, 14 ounces, just slightly down from his birth weight. At the doctor's office, he was down to 6 pounds, 5 ounces. Not good. He had lost more than 10% from his birth weight. Of course he was fussy, so they gave us a little thing of formula to give to him there. He drank some of it and quieted right down. The doctor said he wasn't getting enough nourishment, and that we needed to supplement the breastfeeding with formula. He also said he was jaundiced, so he had to get his heel pricked. Sure enough, he had it and we were given orders to have him lay on a blue light at home all the time unless he was being fed or changed. He could only wear a diaper and socks so more skin was exposed. The light was delivered later that evening. After having the formula, Liam slept for hours once we got home. It was a massive change from the previous day and a half, and it was much-needed relief. That night, Liam started his light therapy and I started giving him formula after nursing. Liam had already been having some nursing issues, but they really picked up once formula came in the picture. Overnight on Wednesday, my milk finally came in, but I could tell there wasn't much of it. Liam's nursing behavior didn't change. It was becoming a frustrating thing for him. Because of the formula, Liam did sleep more that night. I was also glad he was getting the nourishment he needed. I had been starving him and didn't know it.
 |
| Liam on his blue light. |
Thursday morning, we went back to the pediatrician's office for another check-up. He was up 2 ounces overnight! He got another heel prick to check his jaundice. It had only gone down one point, so we were ordered to keep him on the light. Going number one and number two also helps get out the bilirubins that cause jaundice, so the formula is good for that as well. Thursday evening, Liam's grandparents (Will's parents) came to meet him. He had to stay on his light as much as possible, but they got time in holding him. Overnight Thursday went well. I had to wake Liam up to feed him every 2.5-3 hours. He may have woken up on his own once that night. I would try breastfeeding first and once it got too frustrating for him, I would give him the formula. I think that was the first night I actually slept. Liam actually scared me. I had fed him slightly before 3:00 a.m., and we all went back to sleep after it. I didn't wake up again until a little after 6:00 a.m. Liam was still asleep and that freaked me out some. He was also reluctant to wake up then which further concerned me. But he did wake up and we did our diaper change and feeding routine.
Friday morning, we went back to the pediatrician's office for another check-up. Yes, we had to go three days in a row. Weight check was great. Liam was up to 6 pounds, 12 ounces, so 7 ounces in two days! I gave him a baby high five for that. I expressed my concerns that I was losing him to the bottle and the nurse was very encouraging and gave me some tips. She told me to keep trying every 2 hours or so and pump to get things going. Unfortunately, little man still gets super frustrated and sometimes won't even latch on now. It breaks my heart. I have a hand pump that I've been using some, but I barely get anything out. I am not making nearly enough milk to meet his needs, and he totally knows that. It breaks my heart, though. I had grand visions of a chubby, breastfed baby. I have not given up hope yet, though. I still try it every feeding and pump whatever I can and give it to him in a bottle. I've started drinking some lactation tea in hopes that it will help. I know this whole thing is all about supply and demand, though. At first the supply wasn't there, but the demand was. Then by the time the supply was there, demand had dropped off. Now as demand becomes less and less, supply also becomes less. I don't yet know what the outcome will be. I know I'm not a bad mother if he ends up being formula fed. A friend is letting me borrow an electric pump, so hopefully that will help. Overnight Friday was quite nice actually. I had to wake Liam to feed twice (pedi wants him to eat every 3 hours), but both feedings went smoothly (not counting bf frustration) and he went back to sleep easily. I was able to get good sleep in between feedings.
Today is Liam's one-week birthday. His routine right now is to sleep most of the time, dirty and wet lots of diapers, and eat every three hours. He's pretty good at that right now. He did have a fussy spell this afternoon, but the kid really just wants to be held. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to do much of that because he has to stay on his light. He will be on it until at least Monday when he'll get his level check again.
This has been the most overwhelming, emotional, exhausting, and trying week of my life. It has also been amazing and exciting. I'm getting used to the idea that I'm a mother now, and even though I sometimes doubt myself, I know I am capable of taking care of him. We've been in survival mode, figuring it all out. Crazy hormones don't help the situation. I'm so happy I'm Liam's mom. I love him so much already. We already get some gassy grins and sweet faces. He already acts like Will. They both like to sleep with their arms above their heads. This morning, they were in the same position sleeping. It's so cute! His eyes already have a hint of brown in them, so I think he will be a brown hair, brown eyed boy, just like his daddy. I'm glad we made it through the first week, and I'm ready for the second.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Liam's Birth
So it all started last Friday (May 13th) night. I felt the first contraction around 11:30 p.m. I assumed it was a contraction even though I had never felt a real one before. We had gone out and had dinner at an Indian restaurant a few hours earlier, and they always say whatever was eaten last was what jump-started labor. So I suppose it was Indian food (although I think it was just a coincidence).
Alright, so first contraction at 11:30. I didn't think much of it, but I had another one about 25 minutes after it...and another one about 25 minutes after it. I was trying to sleep, but that wasn't working. So I got up and shaved my legs just in case this was the real deal. The contractions continued at this rate until about 5 in the morning. Then they picked up speed and started happening about every 10-11 minutes. We figured it was probably real labor around 11:00 a.m. on Saturday morning. I called my midwife to tell her I thought I was in labor. Turns out that this particular weekend was her one weekend off for the month, and her daughter was graduating from college that day. Therefore, she would not be delivering my baby if it happened soon. Around noon the contractions had picked up and were coming every 5-6 minutes. She said I should lie down and try to slow them down. We did that for a while, and the contractions did space out to about 10 minutes apart again. Around this time I was getting in touch with the back up doctor and let her know what was going on. She told me I didn't need to come in until they were around 5 minutes apart again.
Will and I walked around the neighborhood some because by then we realized this was really happening and there was no reason to slow it down. Because of the walking, the contractions picked up to every 7-8 minutes around 2:00 p.m. Then around 3:00, they picked up again to every 5-6 minutes. At this point, I had technically been in labor for more than 15 hours. We called the doctor to tell her we were headed that way, and we left for Baylor at 4:00 p.m. We knew it would take about 40 minutes to get there.
For most of the day, I hadn't been talking much. I was super focused and trying to relax through the pain. I did the same thing on the car ride. By the time we got to the hospital, the contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. We got checked in at labor and delivery, and they took us to our room.
I changed into the hospital gowns and they strapped me to the monitors. While I was strapped to them, I had to answer a lot of medical questions. Liam was doing fine through the labor. Then the nurse checked my cervix. I was dilated 4-5 cm and 90% effaced, so I had gotten somewhere with all that labor. Then they had to put a heplock in and hook me up to an IV so I could get antibiotics since I was Group B Strep positive. Finally I was able to get up and walk around the room. From 6:00 - 7:00 p.m., the contractions were 2 minutes apart. Will was so wonderful throughout the entire day. I had back labor, so he massaged my back through the contractions and let me lean on him through them. He never once freaked out or lost his cool. At some point around this time, I decided I wanted to labor in the bathtub. I didn't stay in there too long, but it did make the contractions a little more bearable.
Soon after that (around 8:00 p.m.), I lost my mucous plug and my water broke on its own. It was then time for another cervix check. This time, I was dilated 8 cm and was 100% effaced.
Then transition happened.
It is by far the worst part of labor. The contractions became constant and more intense. My legs started shaking. All day long, I had been very quiet, but at this point I started vocalizing the pain. I didn't scream, but I definitely cried out in pain. About 8:30, I got the urge to push. I ran to the bathroom because it felt like I was about to make a mess everywhere. From the bathroom, I cried out that I had to push and the nurses told me to get out of there and into the bed then. The doctor wasn't there yet, but there were several other nurses and I think a resident. They were quickly trying to ready the bed and room for the delivery.
I got in the bed and the contractions slowed down just a little bit. But with every one of them, I had to push. I couldn't not push. I had to bear down, hold my breath, and count to ten through the pushing. I definitely started grunting and making strange noises at this point. They put up a mirror so I could see what I was doing. I got to see his head crowning. At some point in there, the doctor finally showed up. I was very focused on pushing Liam out. I could feel him moving down. Pushing is not the most painful part of labor, even when his head was crowning. Transition is far worse. Anyway, I knew I was so close to the end. I was just determined to get there. After about 15 minutes of pushing, I knew that one more good push would get the job done. So I bore down and pushed as hard as I could, for as long as I could.
And then Liam was born at 8:48 p.m. on a Saturday night.
I felt him come out, and it was instant pain relief. I started crying and Will started crying (from happiness!) Then Liam started crying too! They put him on my belly, wiggling all around and wailing loudly. Will wasn't too keen on cutting the cord, so I did it.
The next little bit is a blur, but I know they took Liam to the table to get checked out, and I had to get a few stitches (That last push did it). Then they brought him back to me and I got to nurse him for the first time. He knew just what to do. He was so alert.
That's the birth story of Liam Edward. I did achieve my goal of a non-medicated birth. The thought of getting an epidural never even crossed my mind. The pain of it all was actually not as bad as I thought it would be. My good coaching and focus, it can be done. Through the pain, I just kept telling myself over and over that "There will be relief." For some reason, the word "relief" actually brought it, even through transition.
It was truly an amazing and overwhelming experience. I could not have done it without Will. It was a wonderful bonding experience that definitely brought us closer to each other.
Alright, so first contraction at 11:30. I didn't think much of it, but I had another one about 25 minutes after it...and another one about 25 minutes after it. I was trying to sleep, but that wasn't working. So I got up and shaved my legs just in case this was the real deal. The contractions continued at this rate until about 5 in the morning. Then they picked up speed and started happening about every 10-11 minutes. We figured it was probably real labor around 11:00 a.m. on Saturday morning. I called my midwife to tell her I thought I was in labor. Turns out that this particular weekend was her one weekend off for the month, and her daughter was graduating from college that day. Therefore, she would not be delivering my baby if it happened soon. Around noon the contractions had picked up and were coming every 5-6 minutes. She said I should lie down and try to slow them down. We did that for a while, and the contractions did space out to about 10 minutes apart again. Around this time I was getting in touch with the back up doctor and let her know what was going on. She told me I didn't need to come in until they were around 5 minutes apart again.
Will and I walked around the neighborhood some because by then we realized this was really happening and there was no reason to slow it down. Because of the walking, the contractions picked up to every 7-8 minutes around 2:00 p.m. Then around 3:00, they picked up again to every 5-6 minutes. At this point, I had technically been in labor for more than 15 hours. We called the doctor to tell her we were headed that way, and we left for Baylor at 4:00 p.m. We knew it would take about 40 minutes to get there.
For most of the day, I hadn't been talking much. I was super focused and trying to relax through the pain. I did the same thing on the car ride. By the time we got to the hospital, the contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. We got checked in at labor and delivery, and they took us to our room.
I changed into the hospital gowns and they strapped me to the monitors. While I was strapped to them, I had to answer a lot of medical questions. Liam was doing fine through the labor. Then the nurse checked my cervix. I was dilated 4-5 cm and 90% effaced, so I had gotten somewhere with all that labor. Then they had to put a heplock in and hook me up to an IV so I could get antibiotics since I was Group B Strep positive. Finally I was able to get up and walk around the room. From 6:00 - 7:00 p.m., the contractions were 2 minutes apart. Will was so wonderful throughout the entire day. I had back labor, so he massaged my back through the contractions and let me lean on him through them. He never once freaked out or lost his cool. At some point around this time, I decided I wanted to labor in the bathtub. I didn't stay in there too long, but it did make the contractions a little more bearable.
Soon after that (around 8:00 p.m.), I lost my mucous plug and my water broke on its own. It was then time for another cervix check. This time, I was dilated 8 cm and was 100% effaced.
Then transition happened.
It is by far the worst part of labor. The contractions became constant and more intense. My legs started shaking. All day long, I had been very quiet, but at this point I started vocalizing the pain. I didn't scream, but I definitely cried out in pain. About 8:30, I got the urge to push. I ran to the bathroom because it felt like I was about to make a mess everywhere. From the bathroom, I cried out that I had to push and the nurses told me to get out of there and into the bed then. The doctor wasn't there yet, but there were several other nurses and I think a resident. They were quickly trying to ready the bed and room for the delivery.
I got in the bed and the contractions slowed down just a little bit. But with every one of them, I had to push. I couldn't not push. I had to bear down, hold my breath, and count to ten through the pushing. I definitely started grunting and making strange noises at this point. They put up a mirror so I could see what I was doing. I got to see his head crowning. At some point in there, the doctor finally showed up. I was very focused on pushing Liam out. I could feel him moving down. Pushing is not the most painful part of labor, even when his head was crowning. Transition is far worse. Anyway, I knew I was so close to the end. I was just determined to get there. After about 15 minutes of pushing, I knew that one more good push would get the job done. So I bore down and pushed as hard as I could, for as long as I could.
And then Liam was born at 8:48 p.m. on a Saturday night.
I felt him come out, and it was instant pain relief. I started crying and Will started crying (from happiness!) Then Liam started crying too! They put him on my belly, wiggling all around and wailing loudly. Will wasn't too keen on cutting the cord, so I did it.
The next little bit is a blur, but I know they took Liam to the table to get checked out, and I had to get a few stitches (That last push did it). Then they brought him back to me and I got to nurse him for the first time. He knew just what to do. He was so alert.
That's the birth story of Liam Edward. I did achieve my goal of a non-medicated birth. The thought of getting an epidural never even crossed my mind. The pain of it all was actually not as bad as I thought it would be. My good coaching and focus, it can be done. Through the pain, I just kept telling myself over and over that "There will be relief." For some reason, the word "relief" actually brought it, even through transition.
It was truly an amazing and overwhelming experience. I could not have done it without Will. It was a wonderful bonding experience that definitely brought us closer to each other.
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