Saturday Morning Sun

Liam is 11 weeks old today! He's getting to be such the big boy. I estimate he weighs a little over 13 pounds now. He's "talking" a lot (which is so amazingly cute!). I love having conversations with him. I read books to him every day, and now he's gotten to where he will listen and even look at the pictures in the book. His favorites are "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" and "Little Blue Truck." I think I've got those memorized. I read the same 6 books over and over. I need more books! With big, colorful pictures!

Anyway, he's so much fun these days. His favorite "word" to say is "agoo." He loves smiling at his mama and daddy. I get paid in grins now! He loves playing on his mat and to always be moving. If he's awake, he's moving at least one part of his body.





He's still a really good sleeper at night. He goes to bed between 8 and 9 every night and will usually sleep a 7-8 hour stretch, although occasionally it will only be 5 or 6. But he always goes right back to sleep after I feed him. We moved his crib into our room today (boy was that an ordeal!), and he's sleeping soundly in it right now. I want to get him used to his crib, and we both still like having him close by in our room. We will transition him (and the crib) to his room in a month or so or whenever we feel ready to do so. So while he sleeps well at night, sleeping during the day is hit or miss. For a few weeks there, I could lay him down when he was sleepy but not asleep and he'd go to sleep on his own. That is no longer the case. He barely sleeps during the day, and he only wants to sleep in my arms. I know it's just a phase, and he actually took a really long nap in his swing today. As frustrating as it can be to not be able to get anything done since he's asleep on me, I know he's still super young and he will only be this young once...therefore I should hold him while I can because a day will come when he won't want to be held anymore.

This morning, we spent a little bit of time with Liam on our balcony and got some cute pictures of little man. It's still pretty hard to catch him grinning on camera, though. He's in his diaper because at 9:00 am it was already over 90 degrees. I'm tired of this Texas heat! Enjoy the pictures!

Two Months Old

Today is July 14th, which means Liam was born exactly two months ago today. It's gone by so fast, yet it feels like he's been here forever! I love him so much and he's becoming much more funner (is that a word?)!

He smiles a lot more now, and they're the sweetest grins. It's hard to get him to do it on command, though, so no pictures yet. He loves to smile for his mama.

I think he's figured out that his hands are attached to his body and he can make them do stuff. He has started sucking on his hand when he's hungry now. He also sometimes sucks on a pacifier, and he will sometimes use his hand to hold it in. Last week, he was in his bouncy seat sucking on the paci like it was going out of style. Of course it fell out (they always do), but he used his hand to push it back in his mouth several times. Now of course, it didn't fall very far for him to be able to do this, but we were still impressed.

He loves faces, and I think he really likes seeing new faces. He enjoys looking at himself in a mirror and making faces at it. He's still not very interested in toys, though. I dangle noisy toys in front of him and try to get him to hold them, but he never wants to yet. On his play mat, he enjoys kicking one of the toys with his foot over and over. He looks at me while I read and sing to him now. Sometimes he makes sweet noises and smiles when I do that. He's becoming quite vocal and makes a lot of different noises now.

This past weekend was an eventful one for Liam. He went to our favorite restaurant for the first time, The Spiral Diner. We only go a few times a year. There's one in Fort Worth and one in Oak Cliff. The drive to Oak Cliff can be harrowing, so it was a big deal to us to make that drive with our precious little one. Thankfully, we got there safely! He did really well there and let us enjoy our meal.

On Sunday, we all went to Flower Mound to my aunt and uncle's house. My grandparents were in town, so Liam got to meet his great-grandparents and great aunt and uncle for the first time! They loved on him so much! Liam enjoyed meeting them and he was so good all night.

Liam and his great-grandmother

 

Liam and his great-grandfather: Liam's face looks so fat here!

Liam and his great aunt

Fun times!

Today Liam had his two-month check up at the pediatrician. He's a big growing boy! His stats:
Length: 24 inches (80th percentile)
Weight: 12 pounds, 7 ounces (75th percentile)
Head: 15 inches (10th percentile) No one can ever call him a big head, I suppose.

He's gained 5 pounds and grown 3 inches since his two week appointment! The doctor wants to still keep him on soy formula (although I would prefer to try milk-based again, but his stomach may still not be able to handle it yet). He obviously doesn't mind eating it since he's chunked up so much.

One of Liam's favorite things to do is look to the left. Well, because of that, he has some flattening on the left side of his head. So now when we lay him down to sleep, we have to prop him up so that he turns his head to the right. He's totally capable of turning his head to the right and does so often, but I guess maybe not when he's sleeping. The doctor stood him up on his legs and said he was really strong. He said Liam was doing a great job of focusing on faces and that he was super alert.

One thing I was not looking forward to was Liam getting a shot for his first vaccinations. I know he needs to be vaccinated, but you always hear horror stories of babies having bad reactions to the vaccines or even never being the same again. Vaccinations aren't something I take lightly, but after doing research, I've decided it's better for him to be vaccinated. I am spacing them out, though, so he doesn't get 5 at once. Today he got just one shot, the Pentacel vaccine. It's a 3-in-1 vaccine, so that was certainly plenty for one day. He will get the other two at 3 months. I was nervous for him since he obviously had no idea what was coming. The nurse did it so fast, before I had time to mentally prepare for it. Liam screamed for about 2 seconds, and then he was fine. He fell asleep in the car. So far he hasn't acted differently and doesn't seem to mind if I press on the injection spot. There's no welp or redness, and no fever. Hopefully it'll stay that way. I don't know if it's possible to have a delayed reaction, but so far he's taking it well and I'm relieved.

Confession Time

So Liam is 8 weeks old now. That means for the past 8 weeks, I've been totally focused on him. I've been his constant caretaker: feeding him, changing him, and soothing every cry (of course, Will has helped with that as well). It's hard to imagine life without him, and I now wonder what I did with all the free time I surely had before he was born. I have free time now as well, but I have not yet figured out how to properly utilize it. I also don't have as much of it, and it could end in an instant when he wakes up. I spend too much of it on the internet for sure. I guess it's just easier and more relaxing to do that than what I really need to be doing, which is cleaning. Liam's bedroom is still not ready for him. It hasn't been much of a priority since he spends zero time in there. He still sleeps in our room. I am thinking about transitioning him to his room in a month or so though, and the first step will be to start putting him down for naps in his crib so he can get used to it. It is my goal every weekend to get it ready, and so far that still hasn't happened.

I definitely feel like since Liam was born, I have the inability to get anything done. It's not his fault, although it would be easy to blame him. He really does take up a lot of time. I think it's just that I don't make the most of the time I have when he's asleep, or by the time I get motivated to get up and do something, I hear him crying and waking up. I need someone to teach me how to get motivated! I would love to always have a clean apartment, but instead I have an apartment that's never totally clean. I would love to always be ready to go somewhere with Liam during the day, but instead I usually feel bound to the apartment because going out is too much of a hassle. Plus, he sleeps a lot (on good days). Do I really need to mess with that unless absolutely necessary? And it's 100 degrees every day!

I have a million excuses. What I need is confidence.

When Liam was first born, I did not have confidence in myself. I didn't really know what I was doing. I had never been a mommy before. I was nervous and emotional for about the first two weeks of his life. Of course, I took care of him. I loved him so much from minute one, but it was all very overwhelming to me. I lost more confidence when breastfeeding didn't work out as planned. However, those nervous feelings went away and have stayed away for a long time now. I know that I do a good job as his mama, and I do have way more confidence in that now. I love being Liam's mama! There's nothing better now, but the first 2 weeks were tough. I think now what I lack confidence in is getting back into the outside world. We have ventured out together on several occasions, usually to Target or Whole Foods. He typically does ok for most of the outing, but will have a meltdown at some point. Thankfully (I guess), it's usually in the car where I'm the only one who can hear his wailing. Unfortunately, there's not much I can do about it if I'm driving though, and words alone don't soothe him, so he usually spirals into screams like the ones he did those first two nights at home when he was starving. I never wanted to hear those again, but the past two times I've taken him somewhere, he ends up crying like that in the car. It breaks my heart. After 5-10 minutes, he typically wears himself out and falls asleep.

We haven't been back to church since he was born. I'm scared that he will be the screaming kid in the nursery. I'm not sure why I think that, though. He usually behaves himself around other people. We probably won't attempt it this Sunday, but I'm hoping to go the next Sunday.

I guess I know that he will never get used to all these things if I don't take him out places. I totally know that. So I"m going to make an effort to get out more with him. I need to find more places to go that aren't stores, because I don't need to spend money. I would also like to be around adults, other parents. That's something else I haven't done yet, but I don't really know how. I'm planning on joining a mom's group in the fall, but that's a couple months away. Life is just so different now (but in a good way), and I haven't gotten used to it yet. I think new parents usually assimilate quicker than I have, though. Any suggestions on what I can do to help this situation would be greatly appreciated.

The Zonks...Plus Probiotics

I know this will probably jinx it and ruin it all, but Liam slept for five and half hours straight last night! That's his longest stretch to date. There has been maybe one time when he slept for five hours, but he usually only lasts 3.5-4. Of course, after about 4 hours, I woke up frequently to make sure he really was still asleep, so I didn't reap the benefit. Oh well, I'm hoping for a repeat.

Also, yesterday I started putting him down for naps in his bed when he was drowsy, but not asleep. I normally have to wait for him to be fully asleep to lay him down. I decided to try this and see if it worked, and so far it has! I keep the door cracked so I can peek in on him, and the apartment is so small I have no trouble hearing him if he complains. He only fussed once yesterday evening (turns out he was still hungry), but every other time he has fallen asleep on his on with no fussing and definitely no crying. It's worked so far today as well.

This is all great, even if it only lasts just these couple of days. I feel like Liam hasn't slept well the past couple of weeks, at least during the day. I mean, there would be hours-long stretches when he'd be awake. During that time he would get somewhat fussy, but usually not all-out crying. I think stomach pains kept him awake. I could tell he was tired, but he just wouldn't sleep much. Sometimes he'd take little short naps, but nothing significant. Relief would finally come after a couple of days of that pattern. I think he was just so worn out that he'd have a day where he finally slept like a normal baby to make up for all he missed.

Zonked out on daddy.

As mentioned in a previous post, we are still trying to get rid of thrush. I am taking medication for it because I have some pains normally caused by thrush. Liam is getting purple mouth to try and get rid of it. I even called the pediatrician about it this week to see if there is something else we can do and the nurse told me to just keep doing the messy gentian violet. Thankfully, it is just in his mouth and not in his diaper area as well, which can happen. I did some research online to try to find the causes of thrush. The one that may be the probable cause for our thrush is that I had to get antibiotics during Liam's labor and delivery. Antibiotics just kill bacteria, with no regards to that which is the good kind or that which is the bad kind. They all get zapped. So an imbalance can occur in both the mother and child where there is not enough good bacteria to control the growth of yeast, and thrush is essentially a yeast infection. Will had talked to a coworker whose child had thrush and he mentioned that what finally kicked it for them was giving the baby probiotics: good bacteria. Then it all made sense. Liam most likely doesn't have enough good bacteria in him to fight off the thrush. So I've been giving him some infant probiotic powder in one bottle a day since Wednesday. He's due for another purple mouth tonight, so I'm curious to see if the combination will work. I definitely don't expect it to work immediately, but I'm hoping to see some progress. Probiotics are also helpful with infant stomach issues, and I can definitely tell his tummy hasn't hurt as much the past day or so, hence being able to sleep well. He's also been more amiable when he's awake, so we've been able to play more and he has actually let me read to him for a good amount of time. I've gotten lots more smiles and cute noises too! Maybe we're on to something with these probiotics.

Little man is growing up so fast! He'll be 7 weeks old tomorrow, and then in another week I'll be able to say he's two months old. TWO MONTHS. It's flown right by.

Five Weeks

Sorry for the gap in posts. Life with a newborn is unpredictable at best. I'm sure there have been times in the past couple of weeks when I could've written a post, but I probably chose to sleep or stare blankly at the wall during a moment of peace. Most likely I was washing bottles.

Anyway, little man is now over five weeks old. We just flew right past that one-month mark. I'd like to tell you that he's a perfectly well-behaved child who never complains, but that would be a lie! He has good days and then bad days when he's fussy a lot and doesn't sleep much. Those days wear me out. I know he's got reasons to be fussy, though, so I don't get mad at him. We are still battling the thrush monster, which we've been doing for several weeks now. I know it can't feel good to have that stuff in his mouth. I think it might even make him want to eat more because it might make his mouth feel better. The usual meds for it, Nystatin, didn't work, so we've been trying gentian violet on the recommendation of our pediatrician, which stains his mouth purple for a day. It does knock down the thrush a lot, but then it usually comes back the next day. We gave him purple mouth yesterday, and today I've been swabbing his mouth with grapefruit seed extract in distilled water to keep it away. It seems to be working so far, but if it comes back he may need stronger meds for it.

Purple lips from the gentian violet

Liam has also been having some stomach issues lately. It seems he may have a milk sensitivity, so I've stopped eating dairy for the little bit of breastfeeding I can do, and we've switched him to a soy formula (all under the recommendation of his pediatrician). Hopefully this is just temporary and we can switch him back in a few months once his digestive system is more mature. However, the soy formula seems to slow him down if you know what I mean. So going number two is painful for him. He's still very new to the soy, though, and hopefully this is just his body having to adjust to the new formula. He's actually made great progress in that area today. But yeah, this has caused a lot of fussiness lately, and I hate to see him in pain. But enough of our problems, let's talk about the good times...because there are good times as well!

Liam is smiling a lot more now! He's given us little gassy grins since pretty early on, but now I think he's starting to smile on purpose sometimes. This weekend he totally smiled at me three times in a row on purpose. He has a few different smiles, but the most common one is where he smiles with just one side of his mouth. All of his smiles are so cute. They're also fleeting, so I haven't really been successful at capturing one on camera yet. I took some pictures of Liam for a Father's Day present for Will, and these are the two with the best examples of him smiling:

He also is making cute noises sometimes. They're hard to describe, but they're so cute and I think they usually surprise him when they come out of his mouth. He looks at and focuses on us a lot now. He's starting to hold his head up better, but it's still too heavy for him. That's one thing I'm really looking forward to: neck control.

He's a good sleeper at night, even if he's had a really fussy day. He'll sleep a 3-4 hour stretch at night, and goes right back to sleep after I feed him. I'm thankful for that. We try to play during the day, but sometimes he's too fussy and doesn't want to have anything to do with that. I read to him everyday, and I sing to him pretty often. No one else in the world gets to hear me sing but him. I usually sing Beatles songs, most often "I'm Only Sleeping" and I also sing "Jesus Loves Me" to him. He tolerates my singing for a few minutes, but then I think he grows weary of it. He gets the hiccups ALL the time. Sometimes he tolerates them well, other times not so much, but crying or drinking something usually gets rid of them. When he sneezes, he sounds like one of the chipmunks (Alvin, Simon, Theodore) sneezing. It's pretty cute. I love my little man!

Three Weeks Down, a Lifetime to Go

It's been three weeks since Liam was born. They have flown right by, but yet even last week seems like forever ago. In just another week, I'll have a one month old son.

Since I last posted, I think a lot has happened. This past week was especially busy. Will is now back at work full-time, so it's just the two of us together all day. Friday, May 27th, Liam had his official two-week check-up. At that appointment, he weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces. He was in the 20th percentile for weight and head size, and the 50th percentile for length. The pediatrician said he was perfect.

This past Wednesday, our good friends Crystal and Brian stopped by on their way from Oregon to Ruston, and Crystal took Liam's newborn pictures. Crystal is an amazing photographer, especially of babies. I love the ones I've seen so far! You can check them out here. I fed Liam right before she got here, and he was a wonderful baby the entire time and slept through his entire photo session. I think he liked being naked and getting to sleep on his stomach.

A behind-the-scenes shot at his photo shoot

As the Garcias were leaving, the lactation consultant was arriving. I have been having some breastfeeding issues, and I decided it was time to get to the bottom of them and find out once and for all what the problem was. She weighed Liam before I fed him. He was up to 7 pounds, 14 ounces! Then I nursed him for a little while, until he got frustrated. She weighed him again and determined that he really didn't get anything from me. After asking me a lot of questions too, she determined that the problem is very low milk supply. Of course, it was disheartening to hear that. While she was here, she set us up with a supplemental nursing system. It features a small tube that he sucks on at the same time he nurses, and gets formula. He nursed like a pro using that thing. She said his latch was perfect. She suggested I start taking the herbs fenugreek and blessed thistle to increase my supply, and use the sns as much as possible. Of course, after she left, we haven't been able to make the sns work on our own since then. So I've been taking the herbs, pumping more, and trying to get him to nurse as much as he will to try and increase the supply. So far, none of it seems to be working. I haven't noticed any increase. However, I'm still not giving up, as hard as it is. The fenugreek makes me smell like maple syrup. It's tough, though. Before he was born, I just assumed breastfeeding would work so easily. Now I feel foolish for thinking that. My baby is basically a completely formula-fed baby, with a little bit of breastmilk thrown in. The boy does love to eat, though.

Thursday to Saturday, my mom came to visit and spend time with Liam. She even watched him for a couple of hours Friday night while Will and I went out to eat and took our recycling to the recycling center. It had been many weeks since we had taken it. I know it sounds silly, but we do recycle, and the city doesn't pick it up at our apartment complex, so we have to take it ourselves. She loved getting to spend time with him. He did do his first ever projectile vomiting while she was here. Before, he had never done more than spit up a little. I was a little shocked, but I think he just got a little overfed and stimulated too much. While she was here, we also took him to Target for the first time. I'm sure he will be going there a lot in his future.

Friday, I noticed little man was making some noises when he breathed. It hasn't been uncommon for him to do that in certain positions, but he never did it when he was laying on his back. All night Friday, I basically didn't get any sleep because I stayed up listening to him breathe because he was making noise. He didn't seem like he was laboring to breathe at all, just the noise and some panting-like breathing. So being the worrisome mother, we took him to the pediatrician on Saturday morning. We had to see a different doctor than our regular one. She listened to his heart and his lungs and his breathing. She said everything sounded perfect, but that he does have some nasal congestion. I had thought that might be it, but I couldn't see anything in his nose, and using saline drops in his nose hadn't seem to help. She said it was common, and that it would go away, and that occasional panting-like breathing was very normal and common in newborns. She also said he was perfect. I love it when they say that! So he is fine, he just may keep on making noise when he breathes for a little while. I think it's already gotten better when he's lying on his back. He was weighed at the doctor's office, and he was up to 8 pounds, 6 ounces, so he had gained 8 ounces from Wednesday to Saturday. He's becoming such the big boy. His cheeks are filling out.

After three weeks, I think I'm finally used to the idea that I'm a mother now. It really has been a huge adjustment. I feel like I fall in love with Liam more and more everyday. He's starting to focus better and actually look at me now, and that's super sweet. I think I'm also learning more of his personality. I think he's a really good baby, and only cries if he needs something. His favorite things to do are eat, sleep, and stretch. He stretches all the time!

Stretching!

Liam: Week Two (So Far)

As hard as the first week was, it flew right by. I have to admit, it's kind of hard for me to keep track of the days anymore. Except for pediatrician appointments, days and specific times mean very little.

Saturday night, on his one week birthday, his little cord stump fell off. Now he's got a little outie bell button. Diaper changing is much easier now.

Over the weekend, Liam had to stay on his blue light to knock out the jaundice. Now that he gets enough food, his fave thing to do is sleep, so that helped with him having to stay on the light so much. We also laid him by the window more to get some Vitamin D. Monday morning, we took Liam to his daily pediatrician visit. His weight was up to 7 pounds, 3 ounces. He gained 7 ounces over the weekend, and is officially above his birth weight! We had to get his heel pricked for the fourth time to check his bilirubin level. He's always been asleep when they prick his heel, but of course he wakes up and screams until they are finished. Then he goes right back to sleep. Thankfully, the level had gone down 8 points over the weekend, and we were able to stop the blue light therapy. Now he gets to wear clothes like a normal baby! He shouldn't have to get his heel pricked anymore either. Monday was the first day I drove him around town. Before that, Will had been our chauffeur. Thankfully, Liam seems to really like riding in the car. It puts him to sleep.

Speaking of sleep, he seems to be a heavy sleeper. We don't alter our noise level while he naps, and he doesn't wake up. There was a storm Sunday night, and we had our patio door open to hear the rain. Lightning struck something (hopefully just a tree) and there was a really loud boom noise that scared me to death. It made the cats go run and hide under the couch, and it made the smoke detectors beep briefly. Little man jumped a little, but did not wake up. And yes, at the hospital, they checked his hearing and it was perfect.

Liam still doesn't have a schedule, and wont for a while. We are still in reacting and survival mode. Things are calming down some, though. Some nights, he stays awake for 4 or so hours in the middle of the night. I feed him, change his diaper, rock him to sleep, then he'd get a gassy pain and start crying. So I'd hold him while he works out his toots. Then he'd get the hiccups, which eventually upset him. And then the cycle would be repeated until mama (me) was delirious from lack of sleep. I think he's been going through a bit of a growth spurt lately because he's been eating a little bit more than before. Overnight Sunday, I was up with him for a long time, and he finally fell asleep about 6 in the morning. So we both slept until noon, waking up for another (this time low-key) feeding in the middle.

However, there are some nights when he does really well. Last night, for instance: I fed him a little after 11:00 p.m. and we all went to bed at midnight. He woke up once about 3:30, and I fed him and cuddled and rocked him for about an hour. Then we both went back to sleep until about 7:30 or 8:00. I know it's normally not that easy, but to get a night like that occasionally is nice.

I have not given up on breastfeeding. I was thinking it was a lost cause, but I've kept on trying. There actually has been improvement in the past couple of days. At each feeding, I try breastfeeding first. Before, he just always got frustrated and usually wouldn't even latch on. I feel like my supply is getting better, although it may not be as much as it should. I've found that he will take one side using the football hold and the other using the cradle hold. Now he will sometimes nurse for a good 20-30 minutes. It's not every time, though. And he usually still is hungry afterwards, and I have to give him formula. There was one feeding on Monday where I was able to just breastfeed, and he seemed to get full. However, he was ravenous at the next one, and I had to give him formula. So maybe he just got sleepy that first time. As of right now, I still have to supplement feedings with formula. I haven't completely decided what to do. I really want breastfeeding to work. Even if I end up just pumping and giving it to him in a bottle, I want him to get as much breastmilk as he can. He doesn't seem to like going back and forth from breast to bottle, and bottle wins out most of the time.

Today, I've discovered that Liam now has thrush. So the inside of his mouth looks like it's covered in milk, which is what I thought it was at first only it didn't go away. It doesn't seem to bother him or affect feeding, though. The pedi called in medicine for it, so I have to start giving that to him today.

Starting yesterday, Will went back to work half days. Yesterday afternoon on our own went well, mostly because he slept away most of it. We've been by ourselves this morning, and it's gone fine as well. But then again, I haven't had to deal with much more than just a sleeping Liam while Will's been gone. I still haven't been able to accomplish much around the house yet. Hopefully I will start cleaning soon. I need a to do list.

Now that Liam's jaundice is pretty much gone (I still see some of it in his face), we have a more accurate idea of what his skin tone is. The jaundice made him look tan, but he is actually a fair-skinned child. I knew he couldn't escape that with me as his mama.